Two Morons Vs Life
by ParradoxUniverse
Summary: What if the morons had all their powers but none of the god awful problems that came with them? What if Ryan was emotionally stable? What if Add never challenged Ryan to that race? What if they came back from training after spending no more than a month away… both of them. A continuation of Two Morons Vs Equestria, this is what could have happen had I not been such a douche to them
1. Girls Chase Boys Chase Girls

**Hey guys and girls!**

 **Parradox here with another chapter of really random goodness coming to your eye holes!**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Chapter Two**

The day started out like any other day.

The sun was shining, the birds were chirping a melodious tune, Discord was entertaining the school kids with cotton candy clouds and chocolate milk rain, Add was fucking Tavi's brains out and Ryan and Vinyl were lying on their bed, trying to see who would be the first to blink.

Vinyl's crimson eyes were burning with pain as they had been going at it for nearly a minute now; Ryan simply stared without a hint of emotion plaguing his face.

BLINK!

Vinyl cursed to herself as she blinked rapidly, trying to moisten her eyeballs back up, she looked at Ryan again who smiled thinly and gave her a peck on the lips.

"Seems that I won again" he said with a hint of smugness.

"Humph!" said Vinyl who simply rolled over with her back to him.

"Oh Vi… don't be like that, if you turn your back to me, it makes it easier for me to get your weak spot" chuckled Ryan as he kissed the spot where her neck became her collar bone, Vinyl moaned softly into her pillow, she still hadn't found his one weak spot yet.

"Maybe I want you too?" she said with a sly wink.

"Or maybe…" however Ryan was interrupted by a knock on their door.

Sighing to themselves, Ryan flipped out of bed and got changed, Vinyl followed suit, albeit, at a slower pace.

Ryan made his way to the door and stared through the peeper hole, his vision was filled with gray hair and he face palmed, "God dammit Add" he muttered to himself as he pulled open the door.

Now, when you are faced with this problem I am about to describe, there are three possible ways you could handle it; One: close the door and call the police, Two: scream like a little bitch or Three: invite them inside.

What Ryan saw was most defiantly Add… but, it also wasn't at the same time. It was a female with light gray hair down to her shoulders, medium sized breasts and brilliant purple eyes.

"Hi there! Is this Ryan Munn's apartment?" she asked with a smile, Ryan simply nodded and let her through, however what surprised him most was that he saw himself, Vinyl, Tavi and the elements of harmony all pass through his door before he finally shut it.

"Ahh… Ryan, what the hell is going on?" asked Vinyl as she watched the strangers enter their apartment.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!"

 **A few minutes later (Canterlot)**

"So you were playing with some magic"

"Yup"

"And you wanted to make yourself into a girl?"

"As all guys do"

"Yet failed to see that you were actually taking beings from an alternate dimension and bringing them here?"

"My bad?"

"And before you could realize this mistake you decided to gender bend, myself, our girlfriends and the elements of FUCKING HARMONY!" screamed Ryan as he punched Add in the face and sent him flying out of a window.

"Jesus Christ!" yelled the female version of Ryan.

"And you! You're supposed to be me! Why did you not stop him?!" roared Ryan as he got right up in his female counterparts face.

"Just because I'm you, doesn't mean I think like you… you and I of all people should know this" she said with a sly grin and Ryan simply growled as a response.

The (actual) Add teleported in and gave Ryan a sheepish smile.

"So Add, how long will these spells last?" asked Celestia who (luckily) had no male counterpart.

"I dunno? I poured a shit ton of magic into it at first when it didn't work initially, after that I had to add some more to get the face right. I'm an artist after all; I looked at Tavi and imagined what she would look like as a boy…" said Add with a shrug.

So! In order to clear everything up here: Early this morning, Add was playing around with some magic and wanted to create a female version of himself, when it worked he decided to do one of Ryan and then male versions of Tavi, Vinyl, Twilight, Rainbow, Flutters, Rarity, AJ and Pinkie… What actually happened was that Add's ability of space manipulation made him draw actual living beings from a parallel dimension and bring them into theirs.

Ryan was pissed to say the least… he summoned the female elements to Canterlot and made Add take their alternate versions there.

And here we are… all caught up!

"Well this is fucking brilliant!" declared Ryan who hadn't stopped pacing around the room.

"Well… I think we should introduce everyone first so we don't refer to them as things anymore" suggested Princess Luna and everyone gave a nod before looking at Ryan.

"… Fine! I'm Ryan Munn, part phoenix and part Alicorn, master of time and I will kick your ass if necessary" said Ryan and everyone nodded.

"Well… guess I'd better go next, the name's Ariana Munn and what he said!" said the female version of Ryan, she had long Black hair that was tied up in a high ponytail, her breasts were rather large and her eyes sparked with neon blue electricity just as Ryan's did.

"Think fast" said Ryan as he stuck his hand out, Ariana simply smiled and caught a single knife by its handle before it hit her face.

"Can't hit me that easily bud" she said as she tossed it back to him.

"It's me alright… no one is that confident in their abilities" muttered Ryan as he dashed out, grabbed a chair, dashed back and took a seat.

"Umm… hi there! I'm Adel Terra and I can control space and do a whole lot of other crazy stuff" said the rather timid female version of Add.

"Wow, I make a banging girl! Names Add Terra and I can control space and do a whole lot of crazy shit!" said Add as Tavi set him on fire with her eyes.

Ryan stood quickly and walked over to her, clicking his fingers behind his back he materialized a can of drink, he looked her directly in the eyes and popped open the tab.

"What did I just open?" he asked her simply.

"A can of ice coffee, double espresso with triple the safe level of caffeine… my favorite" she said with wide eyes, Ryan rolled his and gave her the can, to which she squealed and downed the entire thing instantly.

"Can I have one?" asked Add with a puppy dog pout, he was promptly hit in the head by a can, "Thank you!"

"Well, I'm Twilight Sparkles, princess of friendship and the element of magic" said Twilight as she gestured to the room.

"Well hi there! I'm Dusk Shine, prince of friendship and the element of magic" said the male version of Twilight with a cocky smirk.

"Don't even need to check if it's really Twilight, with a name like that, there is no doubt" said Ryan with a chuckle.

"You wanna go Ry-In?" asked Dusk Shine as he squared up with the phoenix.

"Mr. Shine, if you don't get the fuck out of my face in the next twenty seconds I will travel back in time to the day you were born and rearrange your brain so that you could never learn to read" said Ryan darkly as he swirled a glass of cola and took a sip.

Dusk went several shades paler and took a few steps away from the man before him.

"And this is why Ryan scares the shit out of me!" declared Add as he clicked his cup of coffee with Adel.

"I love it when he acts like that" said Vinyl with a blush crossing her face; Tavi simply rolled her eyes as she stepped forward.

"I'm Octavia Melody, first cellist for the royal symphony orchestra" said Octavia with a small smile.

"That's so hot, I'm dating a musician…" whispered Add to Adel who simply nodded and drank another can of coffee.

"So I guess that means I'm up, greetings everyone, my name is Octave Melody, I am also the first cellist for our royal symphony orchestra" said Tavi's counterpart who was dress in an immaculate black suit, similar to that of Tavi's when she performed but for more casual use.

Ryan walked up to him and held out his hand, Octave simply put his hand in his and Ryan pulled off his glove in one swift movement, he then grabbed his hand and proceeded to crush it with his Alicorn strength, Octave was having none of that, his face lit up purple and he proceeded to snap Ryan's hand.

"Oww… Okay, it's Tavi" said Ryan as blue lightning encompassed his hand and healed it instantly.

"What kind of test was that?" asked Add.

"Our Tavi is the only one who has enough willpower to overcome Alicorn strength with earth strength alone, a fact I found out the hard way when she punched me in the throat when Vinyl had to ask me out for the first time…" he said with a sheepish laugh.

"Little bitch…" said Add before he was cuffed over the back of the head by Ariana.

"Only I get to call him a little bitch" she said with a growl and Add nodded in fear.

"Hey everyone, I'm Vinyl Scratch also known as DJ-PON3" said Vinyl as she whipped off her shades with a flick of her wrist.

"Hello everybody, I'm Record Scratch but my stage name is DJ-COL7" said Vinyl's male counterpart who had the exact same color eyes as Vinyl.

"That's a good idea" said Ariana as Ryan whispered something in her ear.

Both phoenix's stood up and walked over to both DJ's, Ryan pulled out two knives and handed one to Ariana, Ryan then stuck out his tongue at Vinyl who raised her eyebrow in confusion and swiftly made a cut on his tongue, the crimson liquid spilled out onto the floor and a second later Vinyl was on top of him and kissing the ever loving shit out of him, after roughly ten seconds Ryan healed his wound manually and stood back up, Vinyl was completely red in the face and buried in Ryan's chest to avoid looking at anyone, Ryan gestured to Ariana who stuck out her tongue at Record and then made a cut on her tongue.

Needless to say, there were two blue haired DJ's in the chests of two half phoenix's within the space of thirty seconds.

"Well that proves that then" said Ryan as he picked his DJ up bridal style and put her in a chair next to his.

Rarity stepped forward and took a small bow, "Greetings beings from another dimension, my name is Rarity and I am a fashion designer"

"Very modest of you Rarity" said Add with a smile.

"It is a pleasure to meet you all, my name is Elusive and I am also a fashion designer, though probably not as good as you Miss. Rarity" he said with a small smile that caused Rarity to go a deep shade of red in the face.

"I'm not even going to go on a rant about how wrong he is" said Ryan and Ariana simultaneously before glaring at each other.

"My name is Apple Jack, best apple bucker this side of Appeloosa" she said with a tip of her hat.

"Ma name is AJ… plain and simple, just like me. I reckon I'ma pretty good apple bucker" said the giant of a man as he moved with the grace of a dancer; it was like big mac in apple jacks body… extremely scary to imagine.

"Hey AJ, what's the difference between an apple and an orange?" asked Ryan from his seat.

"Both are family, but only one is life" he said seriously.

"Another one passed" said Ryan with a nod.

"Where do you get all these tests from dude?" asked Add.

"I see what make our worlds us… us. And then just assume that if they are exact copies of us just with our genders reversed than logic states that that similarity that makes us who we are is the exact same for our gender bent opposites" said Ryan with a grin.

has stopped working, please reboot.

"What's up guys! I'm Rainbow Dash, faster flier in all of Equestria" said the arrogant female.

"Pfft! As if! I'm Rainbow Blitz and I'M the fastest flier in Equestria!" said the arrogant female's male counterpart.

"God fucking dammit…" said Ryan, Ariana, Add and Adel at the same time, all four of them face palming.

Both rainbow fliers squared up with each other, Dash was a good foot shorter than Blitz but both their faces were burning red with hate…

"OH JUST FUCK ALREADY!" yelled Add and Adel.

Needless to say, both rainbows were standing as far as physically possible from one another after that.

"Hi everybody! My name is Pinkamena Diana Pie! Everyone calls me Pinkie Pie or just Pinkie for short! I love cake and parties and candy and parties and making friends and parties and food and parties and surprises and I also really love parties!" she screamed before collapsing to the floor, out of breath.

Add was clutching his cross to his chest and hand leant his bible to Adel, both were muttering something about letting the power of Christ compel them.

"Hi there! My name is Bobby Brian Barry! Everyone calls me Bubble Berry though or just Bubble for short! I love…" he began.

"OH PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY PLEASE STOP!" screamed Add and Adel as they curled up into the fetal position and sobbed like little children.

It took five minutes of comforting from both melodies' before either would relax their muscles… all the while, Ryan and Ariana were taking pictures to save for later.

"Umm… I'm Fluttershy" said the ever timid and quiet beauty as she hid behind her pink hair.

"Oh so that mean's it's me next then… Umm, hello everyone. I'm Butterscotch"

"Well damn… I thought Flutter's was one of a kind, but I guess even I can be proven wrong" said Ryan with disbelief.

"Dude, you're wrong all the time" said Add with a raised eyebrow.

"Name onetime" said Ryan with a humph.

"That time you thought you could be more efficient by cooking rice in your stomach by swallowing ice cubes, then the raw rice and then boiling water" said Add in less than a second.

"I would kill you if not for the fact that you're immortal and my best friend" growled Ryan as he rubbed his flat stomach, the phantom pain still lingering.

"Well that seems to have wrapped the introductions up… and killed a good hour" stated Celestia as she rose from her throne.

"This all seems a little too wrong…" said Ryan as he stood as well.

"Oh god… now something horribly awful is going to happen because you jinxed us!" said Add as he sealed himself in a ball of pure titanium.

Ariana simply sighed and flicked the ball; it corroded into dust before his eyes.

"Ryan's right, I'm detecting massive surges of energy coming our dimensions copies" she said with a frown.

"It might have something to do with…" Dusk began before he collapsed to the ground and began to scream in pain.

"I fucking called it!" yelled Add as they sprinted over to Dusk.

"What's…. Arghh! Happening to me?! Gahh!" asked Dusk as he withered in pain; white light seemed to be coming from his skin.

Ryan and Ariana were talking with themselves about a meter away whilst Add and Adel were trying to sooth his pain.

"This universe is rejecting you" said Ryan simply; no one knew what to say before AJ fell to the floor in pain as well.

"Stay with your copy, make them focus on your voices. Make sure they don't hurt themselves and most importantly, don't let them fall asleep. If they do then they will be absorbed by this universe and wiped out of existence" said Ariana grimly as she grabbed Adel and Ryan grabbed Add.

"What are you going to do?" asked Celestia and Luna.

"We're going back to stop Add from ever doing this" explained Ryan as his eyes lit up neon blue, Ariana followed suit.

"But that could kill you!" warned Celestia.

"Not if Add and I are here to keep the vortex stable" said Adel as her eyes burst into violet flames, Add's doing the same.

"Alright, we'll only have about a minute before you have to come back, think you can convince Add to stop himself from ever doing this?" asked Ariana as she poured neon blue lightning into the center of their group.

"I could stop Add from drinking coffee for the rest of his life if I needed to, just a heads up, this is probably going to be goodbye regardless if I succeed or not, so… it's been nice knowing me!" said Ryan as he focused the time he needed to go back correctly.

"Same here, friends might be nice but no one can argue as well as I can" said Ariana with a wink.

"God… if you two fucked would it be counted as masturbation?" asked Add with actual thought.

"Maybe self-rape?" suggested Adel with a shrug and both Munn's simply face palmed.

"Well their friends" they both sighed at the same time before finishing the portal.

"Here we go!" yelled Ryan as he transferred his load to Ariana before leaping head first into the portal.

 _One day ago_

" _Hello Add" said a disembodied voice._

" _What the fuck?" yelled Add as the world became a light gray color and everything stopped moving._

" _Don't worry dude, it's just Ryan…" said the voice with a calming tone._

" _Oh thank god, I thought I had finally snapped" he said with a chuckle as he sat up on his bed, "What's? Actually, where the hell are you?"_

 _Ryan let himself appear, but since he wasn't in the right time stream he simply appeared as a see through ghost like figure._

" _I need to ask you something… and as your friend, I really need you to listen" he said with a sad smile._

" _Is this a new spell?" asked Add with wonder._

" _You were thinking, before I arrived, about what you would look like if you were a girl were you not?" asked Ryan._

" _Wow! That's creepily accurate, how'd you know?" asked Add with a confused look._

" _Because you mustn't do it, I've come back to this moment to prevent you from doing what you're about to do" said Ryan._

" _It can't be that bad…" said Add with a wave._

" _I'm currently trying to prevent the deaths of ten individuals all because you wanted to achieve your fantasies! Add Terra, you are a good person, if you do this, you will be condemning ten innocent beings to death… and they will not be remembered since this universe will wipe them from ever having existed" said Ryan seriously._

" _But…" began Add before Ryan began to fade._

" _See you soon Adel!" he said with a whisper before he was pulled back._

 **Current Time**

"Incoming!" yelled Ryan as he shot out of the portal at Mach six and snapped his neck on the palace wall.

"Oww… that's gonna hurt!" said Ariana as she caught him.

"Did it work?" asked Adel with fear and excitement.

"Take a look" said Ryan as he gestured to her hand.

The copies were beginning to unravel as time caught up with them.

"Goodbye Butterscotch… it was nice to meet someone as shy as I" said Fluttershy with a tear in her eye as his arms unraveled.

"You to Fluttershy, never thought I would see this day" he said with a light chuckle before fading into nothing.

"Still reckon I'm the fastest flier, but I can settle with you being the better flier" said Rainbow with a blush.

"Ahh… that's what I was going to say, catch you on the flip side Dash" said Blitz as he fist bumped and faded into nothing

"You'll have to hit me up when your next in Manehatten, we could take the fashion industry by storm" said Rarity with a small laugh.

"Hmm… with your ideas and my beauty, we could have taken the world" said Elusive before fading into nothing.

"And this one is chocolate and this one is vanilla and this one rainbow and this one strawberry and this one…" said Pinkie before Berry put his fading arm around the bag of cupcakes and nodded his head.

"I'll make sure to try them all, I promise, just remember to smile" he said with a smile before fading into nothing (taking the bag with him)

"Always admired a lady who could work hard for a living" chuckled AJ as Apple Jack supported his back.

"Always admired a man who could work hard for a living" said Apple Jack with a smile as she watched him fade into nothing.

"I've never met anyone who knew books like I did until I meet you Dusk… I'll try and find you one day" swore Twilight with a determined face.

"I doubt you'll even remember me after I'm gone" said Dusk as he faded into nothing.

"It's been nice seeing that I'm not the only one who fell for an adorkable idiot like Add" said Octavia as she held the other classical musician.

"You said it… It was the voice wasn't it? Gets you every time you hear it" said Octave with a sigh as he faded into nothing.

"Hey Vinyl, just a heads up, I don't know if this is the same for your Ryan but Ariana has a weak spot where if you kiss her right where he ears meets her jaw, she'll be putty in your fingers" said Record with a laugh.

"Hmm… I'll be sure to try that, if I can remember it that is" she said with a smile as he faded into nothing.

"Time field!"

"Allrighty, time to say goodbye" said Ryan to Ariana and Adel.

"To the things we love and innocents of youth!" sang Add before Ryan cuffed him over the back of the head.

"You do know that only you two will remember us" stated Ariana as he fingers started to unravel.

"We know… and that will make it that much sweeter" said Ryan with a smirk.

Ariana rolled her eyes and walked over to Vinyl, she put a hand on her shoulder before looking at Ryan.

"You got lucky with this one… make sure you don't break her heart, she might do something you regret later on" she said with a wink before her legs gave out and Ryan had to hold her up.

"It's nice to know that my awesomeness and amazingness is being spread throughout numerous dimensions" said Add as he picked up Adel.

"Nice to know that Ariana and I were not alone we were taken from our apartment and bought here" said Adel as her chest unraveled, only their heads remaining.

"Goodbye Ariana… Goodbye Adel, it's been nice knowing you" said the two morons with a single tear in their eyes.

"Catch ya later morons!" they both said before fading into nothing.

 **A few minutes later**

"Oh… what happened?" asked Twilight as she rubbed her head.

"Ryan? Add? How did we get here?" asked Rarity.

"Long story short, we tested a spell for communication with other races save for Alicorns but it backfired and you all got short term amnesia… it's gone now, but you'll be a little bit light headed for the next few days, go home and get some rest" explained Ryan which was accompanied by the general moan and groan of responses.

"See ya later dude" said Add as he walked hand in hand with Tavi out of throne room.

"To thy kitchen sister!' yelled Luna in the royal Canterlot voice as she raced Tia out the door.

Ryan felt a pair of arms wrap around him from behind…

"What really happened here?" asked Vinyl with a sly grin as Ryan turned around.

"Exactly what I said" said Ryan nervously as Vinyl looked at him and licked her lips.

"Then why can I do this?" she asked before softly kissing him…

Right on the spot where his ear becomes his jaw…

"God fucking dammit Ariana!" Ryan screamed in his head before his legs began to wobble and Vinyl giggled.

Must be Tuesday in Equestria?

 **A/N: Got to love some good gender bent characters!**

 **If you lovely readers have any ideas on what our two morons should do next then please, do tell!**

 **PM and/or review with your ideas, I will credit you at the beginning and end of the chapter!**

 **Other than that: check out my YouTube vids, they are pretty shit right now but I'm currently working on the art for them...**

 **Till next time though:**

 **My name is Parradox and thanks so much for reading.**

 **Bye!**


	2. In Regards to Disappearing Stories

Hey guys whats up Parradox here!

For reasons outside of my control I am deleting a certain selection of my stories…

Please don't ask why but they might return in the future if these reasons get resolved!

Keep being awesome!

And as always:

My name is Parradox and thanks so much for reading.

Bye!


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